Journey to
Unify Myself
I was born unified, I grew up fragmented. Why is that?
Journey to Unify Myself
I was born unified, I grew up fragmented. Why is that?
My feelings at beginning of my life
My feelings at
beginning of my life
“You can do this, you can’t do that, it’s not normal”. Lots of questions, no answers, depression, hatred, lack of love on my part for myself, constant fear, various doctor’s diagnoses, lack of self-esteem. I didn’t know I was the creator of my reality. By not understanding myself, those around me didn’t understand me either, and this led on to feeling that I was useless, that I should quit. The pressure built up over the years and this led to aggression and aggression led to isolation, inability to express myself because of my stuttering, frustration. Constantly someone was trying to make decisions about my life. I was able to see what life is like when you work from paycheck to paycheck. What it’s like to live in a tenement among people for whom there is only one goal in life and that is to survive. I remember walking the streets at night when no one could see me and dreaming of getting rich with tears in my eyes. I didn’t know then that wealth doesn’t mean conformity or being united. I thought that if I got rich all my problems would disappear, but I was missing the point, money would not solve my inner blocks. My thoughts, the number of thoughts and scenarios I had, reminded me that I couldn’t control my life with all this going on.
On the road
On the road
Along the way, I got further to myself through the pain and suffering I was unknowingly creating with my approach to life. I wasn’t working, every time I was somewhere I felt like I shouldn’t be there, it was so strong that I couldn’t stand to be anywhere. I found myself without an income in a world where most people value money more than human life or their own planet.
I created money by walking around the slot machines with hundreds and trying to make at least something, a few hundred. Two out of a hundred, that’s how I got food. Micro-loans, business, selling things. I was close to becoming a taker without asking. But such a path would lead to death or prison. Because I was close to doing things I might regret in hindsight I understood those who do what they can to provide for their families.
As I wasn’t sure which way to go, I came across various mentors telling me “you have to do this to be successful” but my heart wasn’t feeling it. I knew it was possible to create wealth in other ways, not just by copying others. Thanks to mentors I started to understand the importance of mental health, that was the first step to believing in myself, my inner self confirmed it. This is where I started meditating to channel my mind, which had a million stories about how I wasn’t going to give it.
Knowledge
Knowledge
As time went on, I began to understand more and more the principles of creation, but I didn’t yet know that the creator was me. No mentor had been able to tell me this. I heard “You are the king of your life”, do this and that and you will have this, but if I am the king of my life, why are you telling me what to do? Why are you telling me I have to do what I don’t want to have what I want?
The Creator of My Life
The Creator
of My Life
I’ve been reading and learning. With some texts my inner self agreed and I began to explore the theme of “we are the natural creators of our lives.”
I began to explore, to search, to understand, not to understand. When I looked back at my mental state, I began to understand that this was all my creation. It’s not my dad, my mom, my neighborhood, my job, the government, or anyone else’s fault.
It was my thoughts and my emotions that created a life of scarcity. I allowed it. 24/7 I was depressed, nothing amused me, the only deliverance for me was playing games and eating. I love games to this day, as well as food, but I know one thing important to me. Right now, I’m playing the most brilliant game in the universe called life.
I found out I’m a creator around the age of 26. Of course, finding out that I am a creator carries with it a huge responsibility, namely creating what I want and don’t want in time through the power of emotion. What I focus on every second will show up in my life sooner or later, so if I fall into the same thing it will be an even bigger ride down than before, but that’s what being free means. To create what I want and what I don’t want.
In the five years I’ve been doing my best to be the creator of my life every second, I’ve encountered illness, fear of death, panic, scarcity, but it’s been different than before. I realized that EVERY SECOND CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING. It made me know that every second is an opportunity to start building a new present, past and future. There are no limits for me, everything is possible.
Today I am 31 years old. I have a place to sleep and food to eat. I know that whatever I plant in my mind will grow in time. I know that anything I set my mind to is possible. I know that what the other person says to me says something about them. I’m having the most amazing time of my life. I am happy for the first time in my life. Not because of wealth, not because of family, but because of myself and my thoughts, attitude and love for myself. By loving myself, I love the world and so I am actively participating in creating a world where everyone is aware of their power. Each of us is the creator of our own life.
Answer
Answer
Every second I create with the power of my emotions on any topic. How strong an emotion I create towards any topic shapes my life. How I feel for most of the day is the vibration I am moving towards. It doesn’t matter how it is or isn’t. Presence is flexible in every second is the new now. This means I can start anew without looking to the past with any emotion.
Being the creator of my life allows me to become everything in my own reality.
Unified.
